Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Anastasia and Christian Grey. Oreos and a jar of peanut butter. There are just some delicious combos in life that were clearly made to be together.
These types of cookie cutter romances are pedestrian fare in Hollywood, a place where on the surface everything is manufactured to look perfect. Just Google photos of “Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez holding hands.” How perfect, right? Before you answer, let me yawn.
But for every superstar union that looks too obvious, a celeb couple comes along, getting all cozy at the check out stand of a Gelson’s, and you spill your frozen dinners all over the supermarket tile so you call over a manager to clean up not yours, but their aisle because how could they possibly be touching?!
We’ve gathered the mismatched crop of current celebrity couples—the duos that haven’t boggled our minds this much since the kissing Sudoku puzzle that was Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett.
Christina Hendricks & Geoffrey Arend – Classy, sophisticated, va-va-voom Monroe-esque anachronism of our time Joan from “Mad Men” is with the celebrated and esteemed acteur “these schnozberries taste like schnozberries” dude from Super Troopers. Guess those Judd Apatow manboy fantasies are based in a degree of reality.
Agyness Deyn & Giovanni Ribisi – Agyness is every Silverlake living girl’s favorite supermodel (if you made them choose a favorite since hipster’s don’t exactly gush about anything) and Giovanni is actually a really talented actor who has an appreciation for the arts so this is more surprising than definitely unbelievable.
Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green – Megan has some comedic roles under her IMDb belt and Brian seems like a goofy enough guy, so it’s not really to see a stretch to sense the chemistry between these two. It’s just if life were a romantic comedy, this probably wouldn’t have been an agent’s first choice.
Mary-Kate Olsen & That Older French Guy (His Name is Olivier Sarkozy, Apparently) – I don’t know how this one happened, but I imagine Mary-Kate had questions on her French homework and asked her French teacher Mr. Sarkozy after class. Then the two hit it off over conjugating verbs to which he introduced himself (“Je m’appelle Olivier…”) and they’ve been on a first name basis ever since.
Jennifer Lopez & Casper Smart – As they taught you in U.S. History class in high school, Jennifer Lopez takes a severe liking for her back up dancers. Her current squeeze Casper Smart is no exception, dancing his way into her heart apparently. What’s off step here is J.Lo’s level of stature considering we always thought she’d be better matched with a guy who has the same amount of success as she does.
Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick – SJP is synonymous with her “Sex and The City” character, it’s hard to separate the two. Maybe it’s not that Sarah is mismatched with Matthew, and more we never thought we’d see Carrie with Ferris Bueller.
Rihanna & Chris Brown – Do we really have to explain this one? Ugh.
John Mayer & Katy Perry (and The Next Poor Girl He Tricks Into Liking Him) – The on-again off-again romance that is John and Katy inspires a heavy sigh here because we know this one won’t end well. Mismatched, but some people just have to learn the hard way.
Georgina Chapman & Harvey Weinstein – Georgina is absolutely stunning and Harvey is incredibly powerful in the industry, but don’t expect to see photos of them walking on the red carpet covering magazines any time today, tomorrow, or the day after.
Ryan Gosling & Eva Mendes/Anyone That Isn’t You – Eva Mendes is a doll, we love here, but is anyone going to be good enough for Ryan Gosling if that anyone isn’t YOU?!